Mini Rose Apple Pies: Pi is Romantic!

First, happy belated pi day of the century!
Second, I usually find that corny math/physics pick-up lines are a little gross. Like they were written by nerdy teens who, like all teens, giggle at any and all references to sex. Like the classic "I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves." Though to be fair, those probably were written by nerdy teens who were like, woohoo calculus and boobs! 

But not all math and physics romance lines are bad! It's really actually sad that when people think about math, physics, or science really, that they think of this cold, analytical subject devoid of passion, creativity, or beauty when its really quite the opposite. There's a certain learning curve when it comes to math and sciences maybe, but those "rules" that make things like creationism false and evolution real make the world more amazing and awe inspiring-- not the reverse. Like take this physics romance courtesy of the always favorite xkcd: 

Like such an action is absolutely futile compared to the gross mass of the earth and the even grosser mass of the sun, but in terms of romance, that's a lot more effort than building the perfect dream house for the woman of your dreams whose already married to another guy (Ok I'm not sure if that's what happens in The Notebook, but its been like at least 5 years since I last watched that movie).

 

But, of course, given this is a pi day post, and one about romance, because roses, I can't get away without pointing out the most relevant math pick up line- "My love for you is like pi- never ending." Which I'm honestly 100% ok with. As long as there is also a good supply of never ending pie, mainly pumpkin and apple if possible.

These little mini pies would be extra cute for Valentine's Day, not just Pi Day, though Pi Day is obviously the better holiday. The roses were made by rolling together half moon shaped apple slices together. This works a lot better with larger slices, so I would advise picking larger apples should you choose to make these. And possibly a mandolin to make slicing thin sections an actual possibility. With those tools, I think that making the actual roses shouldn't take that long. The apples are softened by a quick zap of the magical microwave. These obviously can be clustered onto a larger, real sized pie, but I read through a reddit post that suggests full size rose apple pies are actually quite annoying to eat. This is probably the first piece of cooking advice I've gotten from reddit, but it's also endorsed by Cook's Illustrated, if you're into the more traditional avenues of food authority.



Now, I must sadly confess that these are not actual homemade pie crusts, or even actual pie crusts, but rather puff pastry. My two or three tries at pie dough have all resulted in really pathetic failures, and I just couldn't risk the effort in making roses being ruined by shoddy pie crusts. Not to worry pie purists though, I will one day learn to make the perfect pie crust, just not today.

Recipe from FMITK: From My Impossibly Tiny Kitchen.

Orange Creamscicle Frozen Yogurt

When it comes to having bad weeks or being sad, I think its always useful to have some ice cream around. Not like an entire freezer full of emergency Ben and Jerry flavors (though you're certainly welcome to that lifestyle if you would like), but like one or two solid ice creams you can grab a scoop or two as you mope through it all.


Of course, I might only be saying this because it gives me an excuse/reason to justify my continuous ice cream making. Not that you need an excuse to make ice cream, please. Though, orange creamsicle isn't exactly the type of ice cream or frozen yogurt one usually draws to for moping. And if you're going to froyo as your moping food, you're probably doing something wrong.



Orange creamsicle needs to have a renaissance. As a kid, we'd literally buy these huge bulk sized bags of creamsicle popsicles. They were the best. Icy, sweet orange juice on the outside. Soft creamy vanilla on the inside. And when it all starts slowly melting and mixing in that way only popsicles determined to drip all over the driveway do? Perfection.

My recent foray into the world of frozen yogurt may be related to my growing laziness at the worst possible time in terms of things I need to focus on in my life and work. That aside, frozen yogurt is literally the easiest thing ever. Just some sugar, yogurt, juice, whisk it all together. Add a dash of lemon and salt for tartness. Chill for like 10 minutes. Then churn churn churn. It definitely suits my minimal work style at the moment.
My frozen yogurt ended up with semi-large chunks of grated orange peel. Mainly because I don't actually have a grater or microzester but rather just a vegetable peeler and a knife. But I kinda like the bitterness you get from a small chunk of orange zest in this ice cream.

Bonus notinthekitchenoronatable photo because #naturallight is a thing people are into. I might have to stop making fun of people to set up absurd food photo shots on old crates because you know, I'm becoming one of them.

Recipe via the one and only Serious Eats.