Mini Rose Apple Pies: Pi is Romantic!

First, happy belated pi day of the century!
Second, I usually find that corny math/physics pick-up lines are a little gross. Like they were written by nerdy teens who, like all teens, giggle at any and all references to sex. Like the classic "I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves." Though to be fair, those probably were written by nerdy teens who were like, woohoo calculus and boobs! 

But not all math and physics romance lines are bad! It's really actually sad that when people think about math, physics, or science really, that they think of this cold, analytical subject devoid of passion, creativity, or beauty when its really quite the opposite. There's a certain learning curve when it comes to math and sciences maybe, but those "rules" that make things like creationism false and evolution real make the world more amazing and awe inspiring-- not the reverse. Like take this physics romance courtesy of the always favorite xkcd: 

Like such an action is absolutely futile compared to the gross mass of the earth and the even grosser mass of the sun, but in terms of romance, that's a lot more effort than building the perfect dream house for the woman of your dreams whose already married to another guy (Ok I'm not sure if that's what happens in The Notebook, but its been like at least 5 years since I last watched that movie).

 

But, of course, given this is a pi day post, and one about romance, because roses, I can't get away without pointing out the most relevant math pick up line- "My love for you is like pi- never ending." Which I'm honestly 100% ok with. As long as there is also a good supply of never ending pie, mainly pumpkin and apple if possible.

These little mini pies would be extra cute for Valentine's Day, not just Pi Day, though Pi Day is obviously the better holiday. The roses were made by rolling together half moon shaped apple slices together. This works a lot better with larger slices, so I would advise picking larger apples should you choose to make these. And possibly a mandolin to make slicing thin sections an actual possibility. With those tools, I think that making the actual roses shouldn't take that long. The apples are softened by a quick zap of the magical microwave. These obviously can be clustered onto a larger, real sized pie, but I read through a reddit post that suggests full size rose apple pies are actually quite annoying to eat. This is probably the first piece of cooking advice I've gotten from reddit, but it's also endorsed by Cook's Illustrated, if you're into the more traditional avenues of food authority.



Now, I must sadly confess that these are not actual homemade pie crusts, or even actual pie crusts, but rather puff pastry. My two or three tries at pie dough have all resulted in really pathetic failures, and I just couldn't risk the effort in making roses being ruined by shoddy pie crusts. Not to worry pie purists though, I will one day learn to make the perfect pie crust, just not today.

Recipe from FMITK: From My Impossibly Tiny Kitchen.

Bloomin' Onion Bread: Too Much Cheese? As If!

When my friend and I were making this bread, we were a little unsure how much cheese to put in the bread. How much exactly was 12 oz of cheese? We didn't know, so we decided, hey, it's not like there's such thing as too much cheese. So we started stuffing. But then we remembered there was that little thing called net wt on commercial packages of shredded cheese. Not that it matters, but 12 oz of cheese is a little less than 1 package of normal grocery store packaged shredded cheese. So that basically means you get to round up to the next integer value of a bag of shredded cheese for your bread!

Sorry. I need to work on my iPhone picture taking skills when it comes to blur still.

My family used to go to Outback Steakhouse quite a bit when I was younger. It was our "fancy celebration meal" go to place, next to Chili's before my parents got too hip for middle tier family sit-down restaurants. We never ordered an actual Bloomin' Onion, but I do remember my Mom telling us that the rye bread they give you at Outback was chocolate bread. Should have known better. Still, it's pretty delicious bread. Like the sourdough here.

Given my fear of yeast, I did not make a homemade loaf of sourdough. And, when you're focused on cheesy, onion-y goodness, who has time to feed microorganisms too? Well, we were certainly well fed. Add the last bottle of Fire and Blood Ommegang Game of Thrones beer, and I'd call this a pretty successful dinner. Oh to be in your twenties and call bread, cheese, and beer your dinner. Actually, that sounds like you're role-playing some medieval fantasy. Oh wait.

Recipe from The Girl Who Ate Everything. I added in some caramelized white onions in addition to the green onions in the original recipe, but the fun thing about cooking (unlike baking) is that you can kinda wing it with easy stuff like this. I will say that cutting bread into squares/a matrix is rather difficult if you're trying to maintain picturesque pockets of cheese. If not, hackaway in whatever 4-edged shapes you want.
Also, bonus points if you get the Clueless reference. If you're looking for some more modern adaptations of Emma, check out Emma Approved yo.

Pumpkin Pasties: Anything from the Trolley Dear?

This semester, I'm taking a class called Christian Theology and Harry Potter. I know, it sounds like the epitome of "liberal arts education." And to be quite honest, it probably is. But, hey, I'm a senior, and 3.5 years ago, I made the gut feeling choice to go to Yale because I could have that option to take random non-STEM classes. In retrospect, I should have realized that STEM encompasses boundless fields of amazingness that I could probably never get bored even if I did go to a certain institute. But hey, on the other hand, I wouldn't get to tell people I took a class on Christian theology and Harry Potter. If you want a review of the class, you'll have to talk to me in person since this isn't a hey, lets talk about classes blog.

gotta love the pro iphone photo skillz

But, in terms of food, as part of the course, some students wanted to have a Harry Potter movie marathon one weekend. How anyone in college has the time to watch 16 straight hours of Harry Potter seems pretty impossible and was definitely impossible for our class. I believe in total, the most dedicated students got through movie 4. While I only stayed for the last half of Chamber of Secrets, I thought that this would be the perfect excuse to make Pumpkin Pasties--something that has been on my to-bake list for eons. Pumpkin pasties just sound so flipping delicious. I mean, it was the first thing Harry ate off of the trolley (which is apparently called a cart in the US edition). As I quote:

"Starving." said Harry, taking a large bite out of a pumpkin pasty. (Sorcerer's Stone)

Ok. so maybe this is my general pumpkin obsession getting away. After all, Harry's actual favorite treat is treacle tart.

woohoo face shot

Unfortunately, no one in my class (except for me) actually tried them because they forgot to get them from the kitchen where I told the viewing party to get them from. However, my suitemates and friends who got to eat them after I realized no one from my class actually ate them enjoyed them quite a bit. They were the perfect handsized, portable version of a pumpkin pie. It's like the pumpkin pie version of a hot pocket--to get all American here. And yet, 10000x better than a hot pocket could ever be.

check out those delicious innards

Recipe from Braised Anatomy with small modifications.

• 4 inch circles seemed a bit large for finger food purposes, so I used around 3 inch circles with the top of a mug. Actually, I might just be terrible at gauging inches.
• I seemed to need more than 12-15 minutes for my pie dough to fully bake, but I was working with a questionable oven and cheap pie dough, so many many many sources of error.
• I forgot salt. Which was actually perfectly fine, but I read somewhere that every dessert recipe asks for salt because it acts as a flavor enhancer by activating different taste receptors on your tongue. So maybe there is a dimensionality to these pasties I'm missing out on.

West Coast Best Coast: Guac and Margaritas

I think as a half-CA raised child who has now spent enough time on the east coast to have adopted their dialect (trust me, I took a quiz), I have the necessary experience from both coasts to pretty confidentially claim that truly, the west coast is the best coast. Not even just California. People sometimes forget that Oregon and Washington can be as glorious as California. Granted, its a bit more wet, but it has that greenery that some east coast folks find lacking in California.
Thus, I feel pretty ok with posting this picture in an obnoxiously large size.

With that being said, one of the best things about the west coast is that the fantastic sunshine weather makes it perfect for growing, producing, and making, amazing food. I forget the exact percentage but something around 60% of all US fruits and veggies come from the CA. And of course, the one fruit that shines the best amongst those is the glorious avocado. Yes, it is a fruit--quick science fact--fruits are plants that produce seeds surrounded a juicy delicious flesh that we like to eat. For them, its their ovaries essentially. Vegetables don't have this.
Sadly, the east coast, and Yale especially severely lacks in the avocado department. Don't even get me started on my Yale-Dining-what-is-this-crap-you-call-guacamole rant. Since I first realized Yale Dining doesn't know the first thing about guacamole, its been my mission to share authentic, or close to authentic as reasonably possible guacamole to my poor non-west coast friends. When the convenience store on campus had avocados in stock (why, I have NO idea), I of course had to spend all my lunch money (literally) on as many as I could buy (4) for a little guac night with suitemates and friends.

Unfortunately, our store doesn't also sell onions, tomatoes, cilantro ect ect, so I took the easy route and mixed avocado with salsa. Still 10000x better than dining hall guacamole though. To finish it off my budding-bartender friend made us margaritas (frozen margaritas) to enjoy with the guacamole. If only all Friday nights could be like this...sigh.

side note for those concerned about the timing and logistics of this blog: this was all done in early September. I didn't think I had any interesting food related stories until now, so I'm playing a little bit of catchup. Expect lots of retrospective posts.

Patriotism Abroad: No Blueberries Required

I celebrated 4th of July on the 3rd of July. Some of the interns working with a racecar team here had to  leave for a competition today, so we celebrated yesterday instead. Being kinda faux-martha stewart-esque, I felt it necessary that I bring something, and something patriotic. However some issues:

• Had to be portable in a bag because you just can't bike while balancing a tray of red, white, and blue fruit tarts.
• Had to not involve fruit. Because I'm a poor student intern in Belgium, and I have yet to see blueberries here.
• Couldn't be baked. Because I have no baking equipment here.

Fortuitously, I had popcorn. And lots of chocolate. And, as you may be able to deduce, popcorn is something that is definitely bike friendly for transportation.

White chocolate, mm popcorn for America's birthday. One of the awesome things Belgium has are crispy mm's. While they are no longer sold in the US, chocolate with crispies is generally pretty popular here I think, so this is probably why they still sell these mms here. (Sadly, they don't sell my all time favorite pretzel mm's though).

What was mildly annoying was the scant ratio of blue and red mms vs. other colors, as well as the unequal ratio of blue mms vs. red mms. Notice how there are at least 1/3 more blue than reds here?

Popcorn recipe adapted from Kleinworthco. Popcorn doesn't really need a recipe persay, but I still like to have one to reference so I don't accidentally use like, a cup of oil to pop a half cup of popcorn.